may goals

GOALS (2)

My oh my, where did April go? Honestly, where has the first third of 2015 gone? I almost can’t handle how quickly time is passing. We’ve officially been in Minot for 6 months, meaning we’ve already been here longer than we were in California. It’s all sorts of weird, but still all sorts of good. April was a fast month, but one filled with some goodies too. You can get caught up to speed on our life in my latest catching up post. With the freshness of spring upon us, I figured it was time to freshen up this space too, so I hope you enjoy the new look.

As I put together this post for the month, I felt like it would be worth explaining to you all that I understand that reading about what I aim to do each month probably isn’t the most enlightening of topics. These monthly goal posts are partially a way for me to hold myself accountable to accomplishing more in my day to day, but mostly they are a way for me to express that whether or not I meet my goals, there is grace. It’s not about perfection and doing “all the things,” but that it’s about celebrating when I achieve, still pushing myself along when I don’t, and still trying regardless of the outcome. And to me, that’s a message worth sharing. Because we could all give ourselves a little more grace. So without further ado, here’s what I tried to do in April, and what I’m hoping to do in May:

APRIL REVIEW

  1. Read More (beyond Systematic Theology).  I made it a point to read more this month instead of indulge my love for One Tree Hill on Netflix. I started and finished 7 by Jen Hatmaker and it certainly rocked my world. I’m still processing all of the truth that my heart was hit with. I hope to keep up this habit and start reading more of my shelves.
  2. Continue working out multiple times a week.  This was accomplished for the most part. While I haven’t been as consistent as I have been in the past couple months, I’ve been staying active and getting to the gym at least three times a week. Being sick last week didn’t help, but the nicer weather has helped in encouraging me to run outside more. The biggest news though: over the past few months I’ve been able to shave off 10 pounds and get so significantly close to my goal weight! I have loved seeing the progress in my body get more toned and healthy and I want to keep at it. I have been given this body and I want to take care of it and love every inch of it.
  3. Spend the nice days outside.  I’ve done my best to get out and enjoy the weather. I’d like to get out a little bit more than I have and get some color on my skin, but it’s a start.

[Also, this wasn’t on my set of goals this month, but in months past I had been hoping to finish the gallery wall for our living room. This past weekend I finally did that, and I simply love it. I’m hoping to share some of the details about it with you on here soon!]

MAY GOALS

  1. Actually start posting the things I’ve been thinking of.  While my presence on The Pruim Life has been more minimal lately, my mind is still actively thinking of ideas of things to share with you all. My “works in progress” tab on OneNote (which I utilize to help organize everything I do for this space) is getting more and more full, yet I remain quiet on here. I have this space for a reason, and I want to use it more as I intended.
  2. Start a Bible Study.  In the midst of our search for a church in this area, my heart has also been turned significantly towards the ways that we can be the church in our daily lives and with our everyday community. Months ago I felt the push to start a bible study/small group in order to live more life alongside others, and to dig more into the Word to let it lead our lives. It’s time I actually follow through with that push.
  3. Celebrate our anniversary well.  We haven’t made plans yet for how we want to commemorate the two years we’ve been married, but I want to do something special. We’ll see what we come up with.
  4. Continue working out multiple times a week.  Like I said, my progress has been it’s own inspiration for me and I want to keep working towards being as healthy as I can be.
  5. Keep reading.
  6. Spend the nice days outside.  Because the weather keeps getting nicer and I want to enjoy all of it.

Thanks for being willing to check in on how I’m doing. I’d love to hear what goals you might have for yourself this month, as well as all the ways that you’re giving yourself grace.

catching up // vol. 5

I’ve been distant these past weeks as I’ve been letting life happen, so I figured it was time I give all you friends and family an update of what’s going on in the real life Pruim life. Here’s just a glimpse of what we’ve been up to:

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As I’ve already alluded to on here, at the end of March we visited Cozumel, Mexico with the entire Pruim family. All 12 of us traveled together for a week of relaxation and quality family time. Despite some travel sickness and stomach bugs that affected half of the family, and some days of rain and clouds, we still enjoyed perfect temps, poolside days, and an overabundance of quesadillas for the nephews.

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Some highlights for everyone included snorkeling, exploring at the beach (per our littlest nephew’s daily requests), massages, seeing (a much plumper version of) Elvis, zip lining, trampolines, and a giant poolside foam party that lasted an entire hour.

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The biggest highlight of the trip for me though: My number one bucket list dream finally came true when Adam and I had the opportunity to swim with dolphins. Not only that, but we got to pet, hold, kiss, shake fins with, and be pushed by them too. Guys, I felt like a little kid in a candy store times a million, as can be evidenced by how much I’m cheesin’ in half of our pictures.

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Overall, it was such a blessing to be able to escape some cold weather and spend time with family that we don’t get to see as often anymore. It makes me incredibly thankful for the family I’ve gained through my marriage. This trip was also an opportunity to squeeze in a quick visit with my fam when we flew into Chicago. We take up every little opportunity we can to see as many people as possible.

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About two weeks after adjusting back to normal life the Blaneys came to visit us for a weekend. (You might remember that we went to visit them for Thanksgiving in Minneapolis). Most of their time here was spent relaxing and catching up on life. We also took our pups to the dog park, taught them to play Euchre, gave them a tour of the town (or at least of what we know of it so far), grabbed dinner at our favorite local restaurant, and dropped in for a quick visit to the #1 recommended “thing to do” in Minot according to Trip Advisor: visit the Dala Horse at the Scandinavian Heritage Association.

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We’re thankful for friends that are willing to come visit a not so appealing state just to spend some time with us. It makes us all the more grateful for their friendship. And it also allows us the chance to utilize the extra space we have in our home to host others here. Our Pruim hotel is open for booking now for anyone that wants to come for a visit 😉

Outside of those major highlights, we’ve been living a whole lot of daily life.

Around here…we’ve been soaking up the sun that comes with the spring weather. Temperatures have been on a significant incline as the weeks go by, and although we’re always warned to never get our hopes too high here at this time of year, we’re loving each 60-70 degree day that we get. Taking Boone out for fetch or for walks around the neighborhood, running outside instead of on a treadmill, and opening the windows for some fresh air are just a few ways I’ve been spending the nice days outside.

Around here…I’ve been finding my groove with work. Our biggest fundraiser of the year is now over and was a huge success. So lately I’ve been honing in on more of my direct job responsibilities. It’s felt busy, but still good.

Around here…Adam and I are officially the same age for 4 whole months. Here’s to not having to give the explanation that being 8 months older than him does not qualify me to be a cougar or a cradle robber. We celebrated him simply, as is fitting for him, with dinner and DQ with some friends, and plenty of family quality time. (Big news of the month: our local DQ informed me when we went there that cotton candy blizzards will be making a return this summer. I unashamedly squealed with joy when I found out).

Around here…Adam has been keeping himself occupied with work, and now with school. He’s taking some classes that specifically compliment his field of work, so he’s learning new things and being challenged all the same.

Around here…Boone is better than ever. He entertains us daily and gives us more and more reasons to love him. He has this constant desire to lick all the things and let his tongue hang out the side of his mouth. Trust me, he’s getting plenty of water. He’s just weird. And we laugh at him all the time for it. But getting him outside more often has been great for giving him some exercise, improving his fetching skills, and wearing him out to exhaustion. As of late, we discovered he is fascinated by construction equipment as he sat outside in the yard for two days and watched a bobcat drive back and forth past our yard. He’s weird, I know. But we can’t get enough of him.

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Around here…we’ve been cheering on the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup playoffs. With our lack of cable, we haven’t been able to catch many games throughout the year, but Adam’s NBC app has full playoff coverage that we can hook up to the tv. Thankfully Adam has plenty of Blackhawks gear to wear for all the days they play.

Around here…we’ve unfortunately been battling a stomach bug. First me, now Adam. Thankfully it’s made it’s pass through me and it’s about done with Adam too. We’ll both be back to tip top shape before we know it.

Around here…we’re still wrapping our minds around the greatness that is The Avengers: Age of Ultron. We went to see it early last night for it’s premiere and not a single ounce of me was disappointed. In fact, every ounce of me was utterly impressed. Please, do yourself a favor and head over to the nearest movie theater immediately, buy yourself a ticket, and let your mind be blown. So. Much. Greatness.

Around here…we’re just living life daily. Letting opportunities for fellowship and community come up as they do and embracing free time when we have it. We have a nice life here in North Dakota and I really do love it more than I ever thought I would.

So now, let’s catch up. What have you been up to?

when God’s will doesn’t match up with my own

ORGANIC (2)

This weekend Timehop reminded me through a Tweet I posted last year that we were embarking in a significant season of transition. “The walls are getting whiter,” said year-ago Kelly. I remember it well. I was preparing for our apartment to get packed up by movers. And my heart was experiencing all kinds of emotions. Let me give you the back story:

A year ago we received the news that our world was being flipped upside down faster than we expected. Our anticipated September move to California for Adam’s training was moved up to May. Not only that, but we would need to leave the day immediately following his graduation. Not only that, but we received word of this all just shy of a month before we would need to leave. Talk about overwhelming.

Now May was the initial time frame for our departure when we first found out what Adam’s job would be in the Air Force. At first we were prepared for it. We were excited to know that his career would start right off the bat as he finished up his undergrad years.

Then somewhere in-between it was pushed back to September. This was disappointing news for about a split second, but the more we thought about it, the better it seemed. September meant that Adam would have a brief period of rest after 4 years of late nights and hard work. September meant that we could spend the summer getting together with friends and family that we hadn’t seen much of throughout our newlywed year. September meant we had plenty of time for goodbyes before we turned the page. September meant that we had a few extra months of life in Carbondale. September meant we had a few extra months of time at Vine Church, where we were growing, learning, investing. September became perfect.

And then in typical Air Force fashion: a last minute change of plans. They pulled a major “just kidding” on us and pulled our leave date back to May. No more time off for Adam. No more time to see loved ones and say goodbye. No more time left with our friends or our church in Carbondale. April to May quickly became a whirlwind of a month. Adam had to scramble to accomplish all the minor tasks to prepare for going active duty – all while finishing up his final semester of college. I immediately had to put in my two weeks notice at work, and I scrambled to get my cases in as much order as possible so that I could transition everything off well for the caseworker that would take over them. We prepared our apartment to be packed up strategically for a cross country move. We planned our road trip across the states – being sure to make it to our new base in time, while still making time to see some landmarks along the way. We made space in the midst of the craziness to host some last minute visits from some family. We said goodbyes. Many goodbyes. Many difficult and rushed goodbyes. Adam graduated. He commissioned. And we were off. Just like that.

In a span of 4 years for Adam, and less than a year for me, Carbondale, Illinois became our home. There’s nothing overly extravagant about the college town on paper, but it has become a place that I will forever love to return to. It was the setting for the start of our life together. It was a town filled with so many unique adventures – most of which we didn’t have time to explore. It was where we could get the world’s greatest fruit slushes at QQ Bubble Tea and the best chicken fried rice at Thai Taste. It was a place where our faith grew exponentially in the midst of new challenges and lessons. And it felt like it was being ripped away from us far too quickly. Why did we have to leave so soon? Why couldn’t we stay just a little bit longer? It’s not like we were getting too comfortable or becoming stagnant there. We were growing. We were serving. We were being challenged. And yet the Air Force and God still bid us onward.

The ONLY thing that kept me moving forward, and resisting every urge to cling to it all and never let go, was that God assured me countless times that this was His will for us. He orchestrated it all. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t want it – at least not yet. But whatever the circumstances would bring – both good or bad – it was his desire for us to move onward. And therefore, that is what would be best for us. It’s a scary thing to admit complete trust in God. Never in my life did I have to cling so tightly to His promises to get me through. I tried, for His sake (and His glory) to point to Him in it all. To let people know that although my heart wanted something else, I was still going to follow God where He wanted me to go. Granted I probably repeated that so often to people because I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince them. But He knows far more than I do. And He knows what I need to be sharpened and refined.

It’s been almost a year since we left. I remember the emotions of that time like it was yesterday. The fear, the disappointment, the excitement, the nervousness, the instability, the peace. It was nothing short of overwhelming. And I remember when the novelty of it all wore off. A short way into our time in California we were missing Illinois like crazy. It was much easier for me to focus on the hardship and the aches that my heart felt than it was for me to focus on God’s plan. Another move later and I still find myself doubting and asking “why?” I still question this even when my heart is far more at ease than it ever was in California. Although I still haven’t figured out the direct answer, God keeps bringing me back to the truth that this has all been a part of His will, and this is what is best for me, for us, and for His glory. And I learn to accept that (keyword: learn). I may have to continuously reaccept it, but it’s where I keep getting brought back to.

Because we are exactly where God wants us to be. We are in a place we begged and pleaded not to go to, and yet it has turned out to be far greater than we imagined. I still miss Carbondale. I still miss home. But it becomes much lighter when I give the weight of it all back to Jesus and rest in the assurance that we have purpose here. More likely than not, purpose far beyond ourselves.

As someone who trusts that God is who He says He is, I can confidently and firmly believe that His will is better than my own. Even if I don’t see it now, even if I don’t see it in 20 years, even if I don’t see it ever in this life, He knows far more about what is best for me in this life than I do. My vision most often is shortsighted and selfish. His vision is all knowing, all wise, & all encompassing. He sees beyond me because He knows it’s not about me. Therefore when He calls me onward to something (or tells me to stay put), I want to trust Him that despite what good or bad may come that it is best for my well being and for His glory. He never promised Christ followers an easy life. He never promised anyone an easy life for that matter. He never told us that we deserve great things – we came up with that mindset on our own. But what he has ensured us of is that in our sinful nature and natural rebellion of Him we deserve eternal punishment. But He took care of that on the cross and opened the door for us to have the undeserved and unearned opportunity to find freedom and grace in Him. And as I have come to accept that and believe that, I turn towards Him with a heart of repentance, respect, and love. In doing so I’ve accepted that we are all broken humans filled with flaws due to our sinful nature that need to be refined in the fire of the Holy Spirit. Refinement is a hard pressing process. It means difficult things are inevitable. But refinement can help rid us of the things in our hearts and lives that don’t belong. It can chip away at the dark pieces within us to make more room for Jesus.

And I don’t know about you, but I want more of Jesus. He’s the only thing that has ever been, and will ever be, worth giving up everything for. In doing so, that means giving up my own will, and following His – even when it doesn’t make sense, and especially when it doesn’t match up with my own.

april goals

aprilgoalswithgrace thepruimlife

I’m a little slow rolling here with my April goals. I think going on vacation at the end of last month left me with no time to really think through what it is that I would like to accomplish in the 30 days of April. But first, let’s check in on how March went.

MARCH REVIEW

  1. Continue hitting up the gym at least 5 times a week. Up until our vacation at the end of the month, I stayed consistent in working out again this month. I owe so much to my swollmate for that. 😉
  2. Read 4 chapters of Systematic Theology. Nope. Only got through one chapter again this month.
  3. Complete the gallery wall for our living room. More progress has been made, but not quite there yet. I painted a couple pieces to include with it that I’m really happy with. It just needs to all finally get nailed down.
  4. Journal more often. Sadly, this just didn’t happen.
  5. Get a tan in MEXICO! While some overcast days and a bit of rain salted my game, I left Cozumel with a little bit more color than I came to it with. More importantly, we had the most wonderful time vacationing with the whole Pruim family. (More pictures and details to come on that soon!)
  6. Snuggle more with my hubby. I wasn’t exactly intentional about this, but I still managed to fit in snuggle time nonetheless.

APRIL GOALS

  1. Read More (beyond Systematic). Going on vacation allowed me a little more reading time, and I was able to finish a book I’ve been reading since Christmas. I want to keep plowing through the many quality books on my shelf that I have yet to read.
  2. Work out 3-4 times a week. I’m not going to lie, going on vacation ruined a bit of my motivation to hit the gym everyday. It took a couple days of adjusting back home to finally suck it up and get back into it. Now that I’m getting there though, I’d like to keep at it. Because I’ve been really pleased with the progress I’ve made because of it.
  3. Spend the nice days outside. Spring is trying to surface here in Minot. We had a week of gorgeous 60-70 degree weather, but then we dropped back into the 30s and 40s, with multiple days of snow scattered in. I was warned to never get my hopes up with the weather here. But I at least want to take advantage of the nice days that we do have. This weekend we’re supposed to be hitting back into the 60s and 70s, so in whatever off time I have I want to get out and soak up the sun, because it sure does do something for my soul.

I’m just keeping it simple this month, considering we’re already a third of the way through it. This month is more full than usual too with a big fundraiser for work, some friends coming to visit, and Adam’s birthday, so I want to be sure my time is spent wisely too. Besides, I still want to leave some room in the margins to let life happen. Grace man. That’s what this whole thing is about.

What goals do you have for yourself this month?

letting life happen

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Well March came, and March went. And April has come and we’re already a week in. And I’ve been nowhere to be found on this space. To be honest, there were a couple times this month that I sat down to put something together for a post, but the publish button never got pushed. And it’s not that I haven’t had anything to say. It’s just that I’ve been simply living.

Nothing extravagant has been going on (minus our recent vacation to Mexico, but I consider that an exception). I’ve simply been working, maintaining the house, working out, building relationships, and spending quality time with my husband and pup. And this past month, that was enough for me to manage. Everything was steady. It was simple. It felt peaceful. And so each time I sat at the computer and typed out some of my thoughts, all that came out was words expressing my desire to just be living life and utilizing the time in my days to the best of my abilities (I can thank the gorgeous weather at the beginning of the month for that inspiration – where that weather is now I’m not so sure). It’s not that blogging isn’t worth my time. I love having this space and I look forward to seeing it grow in the time to come as I find new and better ways to invest in it. But this past month it was nice to take the break and just let life happen. To take the moments as they came and experience them fully. To not overwhelm myself with too much on my plate, especially with my new job. To enjoy the simple evenings of sitting next to Adam on the couch or tossing a ball around with Boone. To take advantage of the few spring weather days we’ve had so far and get outside more. To soak in the opportunities to invest in relationships, both near and far. It was all worth it.

As we’re already a week into April, I’m excited to get things rolling again around here. I have a month’s worth of life to catch you all up on. I have overdue words to share with you. I have a new series to continue in. But I also am giving myself the grace and the wiggle room to deal with life as it happens. I’m not a full time blogger, so I feel comfortable giving myself that slack at this time. But know that I care about sharing the words that I do with you here. And therefore I don’t want to give you second rate stuff. It’s just that sometimes the quality I aim for takes a little more time. So be patient with me. And trust that there is more to come soon.

Until then…

march goals

GOALS

Hello March. You & your potential signs of spring are being welcomed in with open arms. You can melt away the snow that has been sitting on the ground for the past two months straight & you can up those temps quite a bit too. Anytime now…

A new month means a new set of goals, but before I get into what I have planned for myself this month, let’s recap on how February went:

  1. Read 4 chapters of Systematic Theology. I didn’t devote as much time to this as I really would have liked too. One chapter was all I finished. It was a long one though, so that’s gotta count for something 😉 Nevertheless, there is grace, so I will keep pushing on!
  2. Set us up to start using an envelope budget. Procrastination at it’s finest. This has been on my to-do list since the summer and I still find us with no envelope budget.
  3. Finally introduce a series on The Pruim Life that I’ve been dwelling on for months. From Comparison to Contentment has been on my heart since October, and I finally hit the publish button for the first of many future posts this past week.
  4. Continue on in the job search process. Continue I did, as I sent out resumes, scored an interview, got the call the next day with a job offer, and started my new job last week.
  5. Establish a habit of going to the gym at least 3-4 times a week. Guys, I (surprisingly) knocked this one out of the park. Not only did I accomplish this goal, but I exceeded it with hitting the gym at least 5 days a week. Finding two work out buddies, following a workout plan, having my husband be a source of accountability, and trying out new classes at the gym, have all been game changers in motivating me in this. & it sure does feel good.
  6. Complete the gallery wall in our living room. Progress has certainly been made. I’ve created a few pieces to include with pieces that I already had ready to go onto the wall. A potential layout is scattered across our front room floor awaiting the finishing touches before I’m ready to start hanging it up. But it’s coming along.

So February was a fairly successful month. Here’s to hoping that March will be the same way:

  1. Continue hitting up the gym at least 5 times a week.
  2. Read 4 chapters of Systematic Theology.
  3. Complete the gallery wall for our living room.
  4. Journal more often. Writing things out on paper has always been a way for me to open up and release the tangled web of thoughts that take residence in my mind and make sense of them. It’s a way that I feel intimately close to Jesus as I speak openly and honestly. & almost always, without fail, I set down my pen with a better sense of clarity – oftentimes in ways that I never expected. I love to journal. But I let the time commitment stand in my way of actually utilizing it enough. After a recent morning of some heart to heart time with Jesus, I know that this needs to change.
  5. Get a tan in MEXICO! This month we will be joining my husband’s entire family for a vacation to Cozumel, and We. Are. Stoked! It’s my goal to spend as much of the time there in the sun as possible.
  6. Snuggle more with my hubby, because why not?

As another recap, here’s what you may have missed this month:

why the books are always better than the movies
when good intentions aren’t good enough part two (part one can be found here)
from comparison to contentment

What goals do you have for yourself this month?

I’m linking up with Haley at the Tiny Twig for her monthly Goals with Grace post.

from comparison to contentment

From Comparison to Contentment: a new blog series on The Pruim Life

Within the past two years I’ve been made aware of how much I’ve been stuck in a battle between pride and insecurity. Of vanity and a lack of self esteem. It’s a battle that I lose regardless of which side I land on. Because neither are where I want to be, or where I’m meant to be. I had a hard time grasping onto an understanding of how I can struggle with such opposing attributes. I couldn’t understand how to address my pride when on the other end of the spectrum I also needed to address my insecurities. And it wasn’t until more recently that I realized that my sin goes deeper. That it’s more complicated than simply being conceited or lacking confidence. It’s because of what I measure myself to. It’s because of a competition I’ve created between myself and the rest of the world. It’s because I compare everything I have, and everything I am, to everything else.

I’m not sure when it starts. When do we learn to try to “keep up with the Joneses”? Or do we even learn it? Is it a part of our human nature to look at what other people have in comparison to what we do? I sure feel that way sometimes. Maybe it’s just me. But maybe not.

Our appearance, our homes, our relationships, our experiences, our clothes, our stuff, our whole lives too often get rated in relation to someone else’s. Sometimes we “measure up” and have the better of the bunch. We’re above the rest. We’re encouraged because we’re coming out on top (Enter in the foothold for pride & vanity. Other times we miss the mark and what we have isn’t good enough. We feel like we’re losing (Enter in the foothold for insecurities and low self esteem).

From Comparison to Contentment: a new blog series on The Pruim Life

I don’t know about you, but comparison wrecks my heart. It either lessens the worth of me, my life, and all that I have been blessed with. Or it inflates my head into a pompous attitude. Either I’m not good enough, or I’m looking down on others because I let myself believe that what I’ve got is better. And both leave me frustrated, ugly, broken, and hurting. It’s the kind of broken that I’ve felt on those mornings when none of my clothes look good, my hair does everything that I don’t want it to, and my tired eyes can’t be covered up, so I’m led to tears because it feels like there’s no hope. Real tears, over what on the surface appears to be nonsense, but point to a much deeper heart matter that took me far too long to notice in my life.

The truth of the matter is this: I’m a sinner. We’re all sinners. Born into sin in a sinful world. Our natural human nature is flawed because of it. The human race fell short long ago. All because one devious snake convinced a woman to compare who she was with God. All because the first couple on the planet compared what they had with what they could have had. And as a result, thousands of years later, we’re still naturally inclined to look to others and want what they have. I find it too easy to look away from all of the ways that God has been at work in my life and poured out more blessings than I could ever deserve as I look to the ways that God is working in others’ lives and how he is pouring out blessings on them. But just because that may be our natural inclination, doesn’t mean it’s right. It doesn’t mean that’s what’s best for us.

Ever feel like your sin takes you over sometimes? That you feel like you’re in an identity crisis because you know that you know that you know that there are lies being whispered into your ears, yet they still sink in to your heart and affect how you see yourself and the world. My tendency to compare has brought out the worst in me – even if others don’t see it. I can think of moments that I’ve found it hard to rejoice with loved ones over exciting opportunities, simply because my opportunities don’t seem as great in comparison. I put on a face of support, yet I’m envying what they have. I can think of moments that I’ve felt a [ugly] tweak of happiness at someone’s downfall, because that means I’m coming out ahead of them. But am I really? I can think of moments that I’ve looked past other people’s hurts because I’m too preoccupied with my own life – my own self. I can think of moments that I’ve talked down about someone just because I don’t like that something is happening for them that I wish was happening for me. And I can think of moments that I’ve been angry with the people that get the things that I want – just like a child that gets upset when someone else gets the toy that they wanted. Yes, I’m like an immature child. Because all of this is wrong, wrong, wrong. & I know it.

You see, it’s a downward spiral of selfishness, vanity, envy, doubt, insecurity, pride, gossip – things that Scripture tells us to turn away from. I can praise God for the Holy Spirit and His work in me. Because of Him, these attributes do not have to define me. Because of that, these attributes come up in flares, rather than consume my everyday. But those days that they do fill me up, I just need more and more Jesus to push them out.

What Jesus accomplished on the cross covered these sins of ours (as well as all the rest). His death and resurrection have given us the opportunity to conquer these sins; to put them to death and never have to look back. Becoming more aware of these sinful tendencies of mine has been hard. It’s been overwhelming and exhausting to address a tangled web of sins that have infected my life for longer than I even realize. Like weeds that have taken root and hurt to pull up. But it’s been so worth it to endure. Because Jesus is so worth it. And finding contentment in Him brings my heart, mind, and soul the peace, rest, and satisfaction it aches for. It’s the only kind of satisfaction I will ever need. And one day, I hope to be able to confidently say that without any inch of reservation. Without looking back to the things of this world that try to steal my joy. Because that’s what comparison does. It is the thief of joy. It steals my attention away from the God that sacrificed everything for my freedom. And typing that last sentence out just makes me shake my head at myself as that truth saturates itself into my heart. Because what could be better than that kind of all consuming love? I’ll give you a hint: nothing.

From Comparison to Contentment: a new blog series on The Pruim Life

These struggles, these thoughts, these heartaches have been at the core of my being for years. Sometimes without me even knowing it. But more recently, they have been the inspiration for me to make changes – to turn to Jesus and find true contentment and satisfaction in who He is. And as a result, my heart longs to share the truths I have learned, am learning, and have yet to learn, with you. Because I KNOW that I am not alone in this. I know that this internal sin is one that in some way, shape, or form, attempts to infect us all. This is the topic that I’ve been brainstorming about since October. This is the series that I’ve wanted to introduce to you all for so long, but have been seeking for the right words to say. I’m all kinds of excited/nervous/anxious to finally be getting it out in the open. I’ve almost felt unworthy of speaking on such topics, because in no way, shape, or form have I mastered this. But that’s the beauty of it, isn’t it? That in Christ’s redemption of my heart I can share my struggles, my failures, my triumphs, my hurts, and my joys alongside of you all as we can come together to find true everlasting contentment in the One who gives us more than enough, and who is more than enough. So trust me when I say that there is so much more to come. This is only the beginning.

Will you join me in turning away from comparison, and running towards Jesus, and as a result, running towards contentment?