the pilot episode

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Starting a blog is a thought that has crossed my mind many-a-times over the years, but I’ve never quite settled into the action of actually doing it. I mean, what would I write about? Is my life really exciting or fascinating enough for others to know about, or care about for that matter? So after quick two second spans of pondering I would push the thought to the back of my mind and let it go. It’s come and gone in distant waves, but it started to surface more often in the past months. Upon moving out to California for the start of my husband’s Air Force career in May, I was looking forward to a great deal of free time. And by a great deal, I mean all the time. This season of our lives in the Golden State is a short one due to the training nature of this job assignment, so we’re here for 5 months total before we move on to North Dakota – not a very reasonable time span for me to get a job. Thankfully our new active duty income allows for wiggle room too so that it’s not mandatory for me to be working at this time. Therefore during our time here, I have been soaking in the job title of “stay at home wife.” Best gig in the world! I certainly do love it, especially after a busy and heavy nine months of working with foster care. Praise the Lord for rest! But I digress…

In anticipation of these months (that we’re more than halfway through by the way) I thought about what I would use my time for. Jokingly (but somewhat seriously) the day before leaving our home state of Illinois I mentioned to Adam and one of my best friends that I would just start up a blog with all of the time on my hands. To my surprise, they both supported the idea immediately with statements like, “you’re really great at writing encouraging words to others so I think you’d be good at it.” Woah. Speaking one of my love languages here with those words of affirmation! So I began to think: what if I stopped daydreaming and actually seriously considered this shindig. Fast forward through the past few months and you’d see montages of me contemplating and going back and forth about the decision to actually pursue this – granted those would be pretty boring scenes to watch as they would just be of me thinking, and that’s just weird, but you catch my drift. So these months of consideration have brought me here for two primary purposes.

The first is more surface level, but still a significant factor in my decision to be here now doing this. Here’s the thing: I’m a woman. Therefore my mind is a constant highway of quickly flowing thoughts that sometimes rage out of control because there’s just so much mind traffic. Therefore, any way of mind dumping and getting some of those thoughts out to make more room and get some relief is a significant tool. Journaling has been that for me forever and always. Now I don’t do it nearly as much as I would like to these days, nor as much as I should, but there is something about putting pen to a paper (or fingers to a keyboard) that helps me drain those many strings of thoughts. It helps me to process and piece together things that I wouldn’t connect otherwise. And sometimes those connections are so good that I can’t help but want to share them. Ergo, putting them on the world wide web seems like an easy and practical way to do just that.

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The second purpose holds a much greater deal of meaning for me, and an even greater deal of purpose. And it goes something like this: I’ve just recently come to a new understanding of God’s will for my life – one that is applicable for all of us. Over my years of getting to know Jesus I’ve heard the phrases “I am not my own,” or “my life is not my own” and they’ve become more and more true in my life as my relationship with God deepens. And in the past few weeks this phrase’s truth has been expanded to the point that I understand it with a broader perspective. As a Christian, I am called to live my life for Jesus: to honor him, to imitate him, to lay down my life for him. But not only am I to just live my life in a way that exudes Christ’s character – I am to share my life with others; to live alongside of others and tell others about the things God has put on my heart and is doing in my life. God’s constantly at work in me in ways that would completely overwhelm me if I knew all of the details. He is consistently teaching me new things and deepening my understanding of who he is, and how that affects my life and my faith. I’ve realized that if I keep all of those lessons and experiences to myself, I think I am being selfish. To store up the truth and the spirit that God has breathed into my life just for myself is hiding how the gospel has unfolded in my life. If I’ve experienced the redemption of Jesus Christ, then I want to proclaim all that he does in my life. I want to share it with others, and in turn share more of Jesus with them. Stories are meant to be told. Mine is no exception. Yours isn’t either. Our stories aren’t meant to become dusty books sitting on the shelf. And so I’ve been motivated & encouraged by this truth to open up the pages to mine and let everyone in the world (or at least those who happen to read this blog or share life with me) read it and know it. That’s what I intend to do here. To share all that God has done, and is doing in my life. To present what he puts on my mind and my heart. To use the gifts he has given me to extend the reach of the gospel. Whether that means sharing something I learn straight from the Bible, a practical way I’m being challenged to live my life, family happenings to keep far away friends and family updated, or a DIY project here or there to connect with and inspire others, then so be it. I just want to be able to open the doors to what is going on in my and my family’s life as we venture on the journey that God has laid before us.

It’s a scary place to be. It’s a vulnerable place to be. But it also seems to be a very kingdom-minded way for me to be living my life right now. And if all I ever do is impact one heart for the sake of Jesus, then so be it, because that is His plan. If it’s more, then that’s something even greater to rejoice. As timid as I am about doing this, I am also incredibly excited to share my heart and soul with all who come to read this. I’m excited to share my story as it unfolds, and to hear your stories in return. So here goes nothing.

Welcome to the Pruim life…

One thought on “the pilot episode

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